Thursday, May 19, 2011

It's elementary my dear Watson

You may remember my that I had my handbag permanently borrowed a while back, and I have been in the process of replacing our Permesso di Soggiorno (permit to stay), which I collected this morning.  This is a dreaded and tedious procedure that makes changing smelly diapers feel like smelling the roses.  Needless to say, I loath the management of Italian paperwork.  Anyhow; to celebrate the final stages of closure that I am feeling after my stolen handbag, Milan has called for volunteers for commemoration.  Unfortunately, somebody has stepped forward and in honour of my last theft experience, has decided that today, this very special day, shall be celebrated with another theft.  This time in the form of break and enter into our car.

I am first to admit that our car is not the cleanest, in actual fact, to the untrained eye, it probably looks as though it has been broken into 99% of the time.  But I did recall a quick sweeping clean last time I left the car, so when I approached the car and noticed the drivers door ajar and glove box emptied onto the passenger seat, I realised the car had been broken into.  Nothing gets past this smart cookie.
A quick scan of the car and it appears that only three things have been stolen. Two items of which I needed immediately; the GPS to get me to my appointment at the police station, and the pre-paid parking voucher so I do not get a parking fine when I get there. Memory served me well, (as did my husband directing my via mobile phone), and I made it to my appointment without the help of Lois my GPS advisor.  I was worried about being late, so I parked a truck in, and left the car half up the kerb and across a pedestrian crossing, (very Italian of me), I figured if I was going to get a parking fine I should make it worth while. I am going to miss Lois, we have had many fights over the last ten months, and she has admittedly helped me through some tough times of confusion, and we have spent so much time together exploring this beautiful country.  I never got a chance to say goodbye; I feel guilty now for all the harsh curse words that have been said to her in the past.  Maybe she wasn't stolen?  Maybe she decided to make a break for it... the great GPS escape?  It would explain why the other item stolen was the connection cord for my husbands phone GPS??

I am trying to be the optimist.  We were very lucky that the childrens safety seats were not taken, neither was the two new children bike seats and pram that was in the boot of the car.  I am unsure as to whether a car alarm was set off.  I am unsure as to whether or not the car has an alarm.  There is always sounds of alarms and horns beeping and to be honest my reaction is to usually close the window, not look outside to see if it is my car.

I am not condoning the actions of the thief.  But the person obviously needs help and was not of sound mind, if an argumentative GPS helps their situation maybe it happened for the best.   How do I know that the bandit was a picnic short of a sandwich?  He left all of my CD's, our road trip collection, (at what point is the best of Eurythmics not a necessity), and, he left a full roll of peppermint mentos sitting on the seat.  What sort of person does not take a mentos lolly when on offer?  I am actually a little confused, because I was sure that there was one roll in the middle console.  But one and a half rolls were found on the front seat.  Either the outlaw, sourced another roll from under a seat somewhere, or he is making a presumption about the quality of my breath.  Oh well.  Not to be bothered.  You know why?  Because now I have my permit to stay, so if I want to I can legally stay until July 2012; that gives me 14 months to go all 'Sherlock Holmes' on suspicious looking characters in my neighbourhood.

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