Tour guide by a tourist

According to Wikipedia; 'a tourists is someone who travels out of their usual environment for less than one year, and they travel either to another country or place, for leisure, recreation, or business purposes.'  So logically speaking, (or typing), I've been here for nearly ten months, I have two months before I have to relinquish my title of tourist.  Two months before I must hang up my bum bag (fanny pack) and dispose of my socks and sandals combination, (isn't that what all tourist wear)? 
Has my destination come prematurely?  My parents have just arrived from Australia, so now I am a tour guide.
Time to pretend like I know what I am talking about; time to throw an "a" and an "o" on the end of my english and pretend I am speaking Italian; time to start ordering meats from the deli instead of buying the prepacked meats; time to not dwell on the fact that perhaps I have not been as observant of my surroundings as I have portrayed to others; time to cover my mum hat and my housewife hat with the tour guide hat. 

It is early in the expedition, but I am confident  to share a few discoveries in my new role as tour guide; I feel  it is my duty to diminish any misconceptions that they may have about Italy....

'Italian dressing' is simply extra-virgin olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper. You’ll find all of these ingredients on the tables of every Italian restaurant, so that anybody can make their own dressing.  You will not find 'Italian dressing' in the condiment section of the supermarket, strangely enough, I do not think anyone has even told the Italians about their 'Italian dressing' invention.

You won’t find macaroni and cheese anywhere in Italy. Yes it is a pasta dish, but it would be like having access to a Pizza Hut pizza, it's just not going to happen, (nor do you want it to). What you’ll find is maccheroni which is one of the hundreds of types of (short) pasta.

Italians do talk with their hands.  Sometimes to the point that they look like a pantomime and you could easily understand their story from afar.  You can also hear them from afar, as they are very enthusiastic and expressive when they talk, no they are not arguing, it is actually a quite conversation. 

Lesson number one, will be understanding the Italians zest for food, art, family, life, religion and wine, (I think I just added the wine in their for my own good measure). 

Benvenuto mamma e papà e buona fortuna!

Welcome mum and dad, and good luck!